Who doesn’t love a dramatic title like this? But to be honest, traveling as a couple can be really tough on the relationship and sometimes it does feel like a survival test.
We’ve been together for 8 years, and we’ve regularly lived out of a backpack. Being on the road together is amazing and exhausting at the same time – especially if you’re new to traveling together.
It’s amazing because you get to share your incredible travel memories with someone whether it be hiking a volcano, snorkelling with turtles, or watching a beautiful sunrise. But you also become dependent on your special someone, you’re together ALL THE TIME, and you can easily fall in the trap of being pals rather than lovers.
That’s why we’ve decided to write this blog post about how to survive traveling as a couple. Our focus is mostly on long term couple traveling, however, couples who are just going for a weekend break may also benefit from this post.
So here are all the lessons that we’ve learned about how to survive long term couple traveling. It took us years to learn all of this, and we still don’t always get it right… But evolving as a couple is a process that you just have to go through to get even stronger.
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10 Things we’ve learned about traveling as a couple
Before we dive into our best couple traveling tips, we want to say that just because this works for us, doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily right for you.
But hopefully, a few of these tips that we’ve learned along the way can be beneficial to you or at least work as a conversation starter. Now let’s get to it!
1. Set expectations and adjust them
Before you set out on your trip, it’s a good idea to have a chat about expectations.
Even if you’ve been together for many years, and you know each other well, then it’s still a good idea to manage expectations. Because when you travel, you often discover new sides of your partner, which you haven’t seen before. Heck, you may even learn something new about yourself along the way.
There are many things you can discuss when managing travel expectations. It could be; who is going to do the travel planning and book all flights and hotels? Do you want to save money on the way or just spend it all on activities? Do you prefer to sleep in hostels or hotels?
These are just a couple of natural questions that will arise when you travel long-term with your partner. So if you already know that you don’t like sleeping in hostels, then why not say that out loud? That way, if your partner is the travel planner, he/she won’t book a hostel for you.
However, make sure to allow yourself to grow along the way. Maybe at the end of the trip you love staying in hostels?
To be honest, we didn’t talk about expectations before our world trip, but I’m sure it could have saved us a few fights on the way if we had. So talk to your partner about your expectations of the trip, but be open to change, so you can adjust them along the way.
2. Give each other space
It took us a long time to learn this one.
When traveling as a couple, you’re always together, so it’s important to give each other space. And while that may sound easy to some people, it was hard for us to learn.
Glenn and I are very different people. He’s the extrovert and I’m the introvert. Glenn never takes a rest. He gets up early to work the camera and stays up late to socialise, whereas I’m more of a let’s slow down and watch the sunset kind of girl.
This used to be a big issue for us. Glenn thought I was boring for saying “No” to things, and I felt he was stressing me out for never just wanting to take a day to relax.
But after many years of traveling together, we’ve learned to give each other space. This means we no longer do everything together anymore. And that’s what works best for us.
So a big tip, for any couple who is traveling together long-term, is to give each other the space you need to do your own thing. Plus, it’s often very interesting to separate for a couple of hours and hear what the other person has been up to – it gives new life to the conversation.
3. Keep up with personal boundaries
This is one that we’re still actively working on in our daily relationship. For example, we’re not always the best at closing the door when we go to the bathroom… Let me explain.
When you travel, you see each other in all kinds of situations. The good, the bad, and the oh so very ugly.
Glenn has seen me projectile vomit all over a bathroom in Sri Lanka, he’s seen me with massive diarrhoea in Greece, and he’s been with me through all the sweaty moments I’ve had during our travels in Southeast Asia.
If you travel long-term as a couple, then these ugly situations are bound to happen. And it’s just not very romantic.
So you can easily feel inclined to let it all go because your partner has already seen you in your worst and most unattractive moments. But PLEASE keep the toilet doors closed and accept each other’s personal boundaries. That way, it will be easier to keep the romance alive.
4. Don’t blame each other
When you’re traveling as a couple, you’re a team.
However, when things go wrong, it’s easy to blame each other. I mean, you booked the bad hotel and you made us take the wrong bus – so eat it!
Nope. You can never turn on each other when things are looking bad. In the bad situations that will inevitably arise when you travel, it’s important to remember that you’re in this together. Plus, chances are that the one who messed up already knows it and feels badly enough about it.
Luckily for us, we never really had this issue because I’m always the travel planner in our relationship and Glenn is a very patient man. This means that when things do go wrong on my end, Glenn always helps me find a solution so we can move forward together.
Remember, you’re always a team.
5. Go on romantic dates
When you’re on the road as a couple, it’s important to go out on romantic dates.
Some people think that when you’re traveling as a couple, you go on dates every night when you eat out together. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Eating out every night becomes a habit like watching the telly at home. Plus, it’s not always romantic places that you end up having dinner. Imagine sitting on a plastic chair in a hectic city, sweating like a pig while trying to consume a dish that you know is too spicy for you all the while you see a rat run past the street.
Sounds romantic to you?
My point being, remember to take each other out on romantic dates. This means dress up, compliment each other, choose a really nice restaurant, and maybe take a stroll in the park afterwards?
We don’t go on a dates often enough, but when we do, it certainly helps to keep the romance alive.
6. Make sure to compromise
We’re all individual beings, so we don’t always want the same thing. That’s why it’s important to compromise when traveling as a couple.
I know that I just said that you need to give each other space… But the things is, if you give each other too much space and you never do any stuff together, then you can also end up drifting apart.
If I always say no to Glenn’s suggestions and he ends up doing them all by himself, then I’d miss out on creating new memories with him. Some which may be important to Glenn. That’s why it’s important to compromise and sometimes leave your comfort zone.
It’s something that I’ve personally had to work on since I can be pretty dominating, and Glenn isn’t very opinionated. So I’ve learned that when he feels strongly about something, I should definitely be open to whatever he suggests. Even if I think it’s stupid.
7. Clear the air once in a while
When traveling as a couple, you’re bound to run into issues with each other. Again, we’re all individuals and having to constantly be with someone else can be challenging.
I don’t think I know any couples (myself and Glenn included) who doesn’t find their partner annoying once in a while. I mean, we all have some annoying traits and when we’re traveling we often find new ones.
During our world trip, we never really had arguments, which was a mistake. Instead, we had fights.
If we had just had minor arguments and cleared the air once in a while, we could have avoided some really ridiculous fights.
I remember an awkward scene in a supermarket in New Zealand where Glenn got super mad at me for switching out some meat in the basket. But really, he wasn’t mad about the meat. He was just fed up with me trying to control everything. So when I switched out the meat that he had chosen, he lost it.
This ridiculous supermarket fight definitely cleared the air, but we could have avoided the embarrassment and the fight all together if we had discussed this issue sooner.
So clear the air once in a while and share what bothers you. This can be a difficult one because it’s hard not to feel defensive when being criticised by your partner (at least that’s how I often react). But keep an open mind and remember to say something positive while you’re also breaking the negative.
8. Tell each other “I love you”
Even though you know you love each other, it’s important to say it out loud once in a while.
When you travel as a couple, you both change together and individually – that’s just what travel does to you. So it’s important to voice these important words to each other.
Why? Because it makes your special someone feel secure and happy. So say “I love you” cause that’s always nice to hear and together with a hug it goes a really long way.
9. Be strong for each other
An important thing that we’ve learned while traveling as a couple is that we have to be strong for each other. This means that when your partner is weak, you should be strong.
And by weak I mean when you’re having a hard time. These hard travel moments can show itself in many forms like food poisoning, home sickness, climbing a tough hiking trail, or downright just having a bad day.
If you’re both feeling down at the same time, you’ll have no one to pick you up, and you won’t get anywhere.
That’s not to say that you aren’t allowed to both feel bad at the same time… But if you see your partner struggling then try to be their rock instead of going down with them. That’s at least what works best for us.
10. Live in the moment
This one doesn’t just go for couples, it goes for anyone traveling, really. And especially for those living through social media.
During our world trip, we missed so many great moments together because we were busy making travel vlogs for our YouTube channel or taking pictures for instagram. In the end, it kind of took over.
We never just enjoyed a sunset together without the camera, we spend long days in Starbucks trying to upload videos, and we missed some great opportunities to travel with other people because we had to make videos.
It was honestly too much. And looking back, I wish we had spent more time offline.
Luckily, we’ve learned to be more present while traveling. During our latest trips in 2023, we even managed to bring a book, take a dip in the pool, and watch an epic sunset without the camera. So we’re getting better!
But what about you? Do you devote too much of your time keeping up with social media and showing your friends how awesome your life is while you’re actually missing it?
Well it’s never too late to change. And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take any pictures or make videos during your trip. But there is a time and a place for everything, and sometimes a moment should just be for you and your partner.
So remember to live in the moment whether you’re traveling solo or as a couple.
We hope you enjoyed our travel tips about how to survive traveling as a couple. We obviously haven’t figured it all out yet, and we probably never will. But with some of these tips, we’ve come a long way.
Again, remember this is just our opinion of what we found helped our relationship while being on the road. Find what works for you, and let us know in the comment section below.
Thanks for reading and happy travels!
Ready to go? Read our guide about how to plan a trip.
